This Week's Spotlight: Heidi Hartung Rispoli

Heidi Hartung Rispoli has been a fitness instructor at the New York Sports Club (NYSC) in Nanuet since 1998. She has taught classes such as step, pilates, cross training and kick boxing. Most recently you will find her atop the spin bike for the Monday morning class. 

As everyone shuffles into the class it is Heidi who comes bouncing in with such energy and pep it's hard not to get in a good mood. As soon as she enters the spin room she gives the class the update on what's new with her daughter Josephine. 

Josephine is Heidi's middle child. Almost one year ago, on September 19, 2010 to be exact, Josephine was diagnosed with a brain tumor called AT/RT, a rare type of cancer affecting only about 20 children each year. Josephine was six years old at the time. 

On that day the Rispoli's lives changed forever. 

"Of course my family has been affected, our world as we knew it was over. My girls' sister could die. Mommy, daddy and Josephine were always in the hospital."

Hearing the word cancer could knock the wind out of anyone but when it's your child, your baby, it's a nightmare. 

The day of her diagnosis, Josephine underwent a minor surgery to relieve the pressure, a shunt was put in her brain. The next day she underwent major surgery to remove most of the tumor. Followed by aggressive chemotherapy treatments.  The chemotherapy is quite intense and therefore she has had to have in-patient care. Josephine has been in and out of the hospital for over 200 days since last September. 

"The ravages of chemo are intense  for her and for us to sit by feeling helpless. Our presence is the only thing that soothes her during this time.  The doctors however said that this is all normal. Normal for who, I ask myself?  One nurse on the floor said to me that we are now part of an underground society that no one except the other parents there could ever possibly understand. It is true. I see commercials for children with cancer and still find it hard to  believe that we are now a part of the cause. I only hope and pray and believe that it is all not in vain and that Josephine will prevail," said Heidi Rispoli.

When Josephine is home she is doted on by her father Francis, sisters Stasia, age 11 and Violet, age three.  Heidi plans weekend trips and get-togethers as much as she can.

"Throughout this entire journey I have tried to do fun things in between treatments such as going to the movies, a trip to Disney world, a road trip to Ohio, visiting family, Broadway shows, American girl, partying in NYC. We went to Camp Sunshine, we get manicures and pedicures before every chemo treatment. We went to the Plaza Hotel for the Eloise experience weekend.  Some of our experiences where donated by generous friends and groups."

These fun adventures are good therapy for the whole family. As you can imagine Heidi's other two girls are coping with the change in their life as well. Heidi bears this cross with the most positive energy. 

She brings the energy to work with her on Monday's. Sharing her experience, the good and the bad with the class. 

"Teaching classes and being with everyone frees my mind and spirit. It allows me to feel my body and to totally be in the present.   Exercise takes away tension, gives me energy.  Being with a group of people feeds me as I feed them.  We motivate each other.  When Josephine first was diagnosed I took six weeks off from teaching.  I could not see myself getting up in front of everyone trying to inspire everyone.  I was so sad. I was afraid I would break down in tears, but then I knew I needed to get to my peeps, classes have been my therapy."

Since she's been at the Nanuet NYSC for almost 14 years, many of the members have seen her go from single to married to pregnant. They even threw her a baby shower when she was pregnant with Josephine. And now the old members as well as the new ones stand with her through this experience. 

Because of the daily trips to the hospital, Heidi has had to give up some of her classes and quit her design work. 

Josephine has had five heavy rounds of Chemotherapy, two auto-stem cell transplants and is currently undergoing six weeks of daily radiation where she has to be intubated every day. The side effects both immediate and long term are one of Heidi's other concerns.  

"Josephine has learned more about life this past year, more than anyone should endure in a lifetime."  

In fact, the entire Rispoli family has learned about how precious life is. How every minute of every day counts. 

"Day by day, minute by minute, it's hard to believe that this war has been going on almost a year. I am so thankful for every day and everyday I am amazed and comforted by all of the people who have been praying and standing beside us."

Since spending so many days and nights at Hackensack University Medical Center, Heidi has decided to focus her design talent on creating an outdoor garden for the children on the fifth floor. 

"I am working on designing a garden that the children can go out and blow bubbles , feel the sun, the rain, the wind, to feel alive and free for a few moments.   Josephine was in 3-4 weeks at a time.  Some kids are in for months.  So I am working on creating "Josephine's Garden". I am designing it and I am working on getting all the materials and services "pro bono". I also will have fundraisers to make money to go towards research and the children in the pediatric oncology garden."

As the saying goes when it rains it pours. On March 5, Francis Rispoli was in a major car accident, rendering him out of commission for quite some time. He is recovering and will be okay. Fortunately Heidi has a good sense of humor about her situation. 

Heidi has found solace with the other families she has met on the oncology floor at the hospital and at Camp Sunshine. These are the people who understand, who can truly relate to what is going on in her life. She has met other children and has seen some of them lose their battle with cancer. 

Communicating, sharing, exercise and her faith is how Heidi survives each day. She is Josephine's guardian angel.

"We are learning so much as we go along this journey. About cancer, about people, and about faith and the intense love we have for our children.  I realize that none of us is immune and if it wasn't Josephine it would have been another mother's child.  We have a war to fight, but we are strong and Josephine is the bravest, most stoic little warrior there ever could be!  So believe with us, pray with us and continue to send positive energy our way."

To read more about Josephine go to her Caring Bridge website. Heidi keeps a journal of their daily experiences from surgeries and chemo to Josephine's butterfly birthday party.

Heidi has the following quote from Erma Bombeck on her website. 
 

The Chosen Mothers  By Erma Bombeck

Most women become a mother by accident, some by choice, and a few by habit.  Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.  As He observes, He instructs, His angels to make notes in a giant ledger…

“Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew;  Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia;  Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerald.”

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, “Give her a child with cancer”.

The angel is curious.  “Why this one, God?”  “She’s so happy”.

“Exactly”, smiles God, “Could I give a child with cancer to a mother who does not know laughter?  That would be cruel”.

“But does she have patience?”  asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.  Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it.”

“I watched her today,” said God.  “She has that feeling of self-independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother.  You see, the child I’m going to give her has its own world.  She has to make her child live in her world and that’s not going to be easy”.

“But Lord, I don’t think she believes in you,” said the angel.  “No matter, I can fix that, This one is perfect.  She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

God nods.  “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive.  Yes, here is the women I will bless with a child less than perfect.  She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is going to be envied.  She will never take anything her child does for granted.  She will never consider a single step ordinary.  I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice…and allow her to rise above them”.

“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles and says…”A mirror will suffice”